It’s been a while since I blogged. In fact it’s been precisely a year, one month and three days. In that time I have experienced exhilarating highs and devastating lows. Lived, “died”, seen myself morph into incarnations I didn’t recognise, and then watched as those incarnations vanished as quickly as they appeared.
I’ve done things I didn’t believe were within my capacity. I ran the Berlin Half Marathon. Drank less wine. Read more books, gave less of a damn. I found new friends, lost friends, lost newly found friends, felt a smorgasbord of emotions and within that time discovered the person I needed to be a friend to first was the awkward woman staring at me in the mirror.
I started running barefoot. Temporarily concluded my credo was “life should be lived naked with heels on”’ Fortunately I never publically enacted this belief.
I gazed at shoe porn. Acquired a few of the shoes I coveted. I discovered obscure words like “demimonde” “rectitudinous” “bloviate” “traduced” “sybarite” all of which I understand, none of which I have had the chance to use until today.
I rekindled my love for dating. Cancelled many dates to read a great book, because I prefer the warmth that emanates from a brilliant book to the presence of a stranger. I learnt the hard way that if you refuse to learn a lesson the universe will keep on sending it back to you.
I shopped less.
I learned that I don’t need much to be happy, just need the best of what I do have. I was forced to distill what mattered and leave the rest. What mattered were my faith, family, and friends. The assurance that all was well with them was enough to get me through the day. I concluded that life is best when living on the intersection between opulence and simplicity, and as incongruent as those two concepts may seem the appreciation and pursuit of both bring joy.
I joined Team iPhone. The impetus was the need to track my runs using the Nike running app and my vain desire to join the instagram club. I discovered that instagram filters are great for days when you’re not wearing much makeup and want to deceive yourself.
I learnt life is meaningless unless we’re serving others. That if all we do is done in a spirit of love, good things follow and strife diminishes.
I thought I was in love. It turned out I was in love with the concept of love.
I went up a bra size. The prior statement is a lie.
I finally met Beyoncé. This is also a lie.
My meeting with Beyoncé has happened so many times in my head it feels real.
I found faith, lost religion. Serendipity brought me a great weave supplier. I’m not entirely convinced this has nothing to do with my increased faith.
I learned the value of sisterhood by being welcomed into a group so incredible it’s changed the fabric of my life forever.
I grew a lot. Not the ugly duckling into an elegant swan type growth. It was the messy, this-is-all-confusing type of growth. Within that period of growth, it made sense to be silent and not to use this space to channel my confusion.
It’s near impossible to summarise the most pivotal stage in your personal development thus far in words. Even having to explain my “hiatus” is mortifying. Seems all a bit self-indulgent and self-important, but whatever it had to be done. Enough with the quasi abstract statements. I’m back! Probably with more video blogs than written blogs, but I’ve got a few surprises up my sleeve.
To everyone that emailed, queried, tweeted, called, asked me “why?” Thanks. Thanks for caring and thanks for your continued support. Meant more than you know.
Above is a video. I’m talking about “Keeping It Real” a phrase so ubiquitous it now has no meaning. It’s so embedded in our vernacular we cease to grasp its gravitas. As is my custom I’ll refrain from expounding on the video, watch it and make your mind up. Hopefully you’ll like it, if not you can mute me and look at the Audrey Hepburn canvas gazing over me in the background.
There are lots of exciting things happening. I can’t wait to share them.
Love Christiana xxx