New Year's Resolutions and....Men

I’d like to start my first blog post of the year by wishing you all a Happy New Year! I hope you all have an incredible 2011. I hope when diffidence rears its ugly head you remember that everything you need is already inside you. Live your love story : ) To a year filled with love, laughter, light...and Louboutin's * raises cocktail *

Right!

This year my approach towards formulating my New Year’s resolutions differed radically from my usual routine. Inspired by this post by Gretchen Rubin, I decided my resolutions wouldn't just be a fixed set of 'rules'. Instead my resolution would be a word. The word chosen would encapsulate the theme and energy I want my life to possess in 2011. The word would also define the context and tone of any other 'traditional' resolutions I put together.

Due to my decision to have an overarching word as my resolution, I now have a tiered resolution system. Up top I have my word.

Then I have the major areas of life “Family” “Faith” “Friends” “Finances” “Clothes” (yes clothes, I'm deep like that...Of course I don't have clothes I'm joking!...maybe.)

Then on the bottom tier within each of the major areas, I have the actual resolutions.I know it seems like a rather complex system, but I recommend it to anyone wanting to try something new because...

1) The process of putting it together is deeply enriching
2) I can't think of a second reason but I estimate there's about 2103

When I shared my 2011 resolution process with a friend of mine she said two things

“Christiana.....I love you but you worry me…”

Then she said....

“Erm Christiana…no offence but why haven't you put men as a major area of your life? They obviously are”

I told her I appreciated her honesty and had taken no offence, but I had to disagree with her. Men were not a major area of my life.

I was lying. In truth, grappling with issues relating to the opposite sex is major for nearly every heterosexual woman between the ages of 13-88 .

Sidebar: 13-88, 2103 reasons....throwing out arbitrary figures is my new thing. Apologies in advance.

My friend argued it would make no sense making resolutions for everything and then omit men, the variable most likely to cause the other resolutions unravel. With the aim of learning from past mistakes and making this year better than the last, my friend challenged me to write 'men resolutions' and then blog about it. Since I love her dearly I agreed.

In no particular order...

1) Preserve your sexy

I’ve blogged about this universal principle on multiple occasions. It doesn't matter if your single, engaged or Facebook divorced. All women need to preserve their sexy. Not for men, but for themselves. I stopped trying to dress for men when I realised that my Key Stage 3 tits aren't exactly what makes them go wild. Ironically the more you preserve your sexy and embrace yourself...the more attractive you become.It's a virtuous cycle...even with Key Stage 3 tits.


2) Beware of arsonists posing as firefighters

Again this is a universal principle and doesn't relate just to men. There are a lot of arsonists posing as firefighters. Identify such iniquitous souls and extinguish them. Not literally of course...but you know what I mean....

3) Abandon your "Pry but don’t Spy " policy

I’ve tried to make this list as inclusive as possible, however this is a self indulgent addition. A few years back I wrote a blog where I advocated women operating a 'Pry but don't Spy' policy. For example, Spying = going through his phone, Prying = merely being aware of who calls him.

I'm formally abandoning this policy, not because of a moral awakening. I'm abandoning it simply because if you feel constantly compelled to pry, you will eventually spy.

4) If "he's not that into you"...find someone else or remain content with yourself

5) Raise your standards.

Apparently women are too picky. Myth! We're not picky enough. I personally think all women should raise the bar. Expect more! And no this isn't about money. That's a fickle and unreliable gauge. Expect more respect,more kindness, more love, more cake, more *insert virtue*

6) Become More

If we expect more, we’ve got to become more. Want more respect? Be more respectful. Expect more love? Be more loving. What someone more educated? Continue to educate yourself. Want more cake? I have no clue.....I don't even like baking/cooking, I only enjoy the eating part. And I hate paying for cake myself. If you have any ideas on how I can legally get more cake without paying or baking, please let me know.

7) Don't tell ALL your friends

BIG said 'Rule numero uno: never let no one know how much, dough you hold...' Pretty sure he wasn't dispensing love advice, but the principle still stands. Everyone doesn't need to know what's going in your love life. Know what to keep to yourself.

8) Try not to get (really) drunk in public

Another indulgent entry. Here's to a year of sobriety.... * raises glass of water *

9) Own Your Power

Oprah recently broke down this idea to Serena Williams (and no one puts it better than Oprah!)

You can not pretend to be anything less than you are. You are so huge. You can’t go around dimming your light just to be walking with someone else. What you really want is to be completely full of yourself so that your cup runneth over so you give it to other people. Not in an arrogant way but so that you absolutely own your own power. OWN YOUR OWN POWER!
Oprah Winfrey

10) Resist Guilt

My friend and I believe that some women have a tendency to have a formal code of conduct concerning men. It's made up of a set of rules that become looser as we get older however the ones we think are very important become more entrenched. For example most women will say 'I don't have sex until (insert arbitrary time that fits her moral compass)'

We will insist we always adhere to our code of conduct and nothing can change that. Then a man comes along who causes us to break our 'entrenched rules'. If this hasn't happened to you, it's not because you're that strong...it's probably because you haven't met that man. I sincerely hope you never do.

Contrary to the cliche, rules are not there to be broken. Rules are there to create order and uphold the system. Hence why we feel so guilty when we break them, especially the rules we create for ourselves.

If you don't remember anything else I write today, please remember this. If/when you breech your code of conduct 'Resist Guilt'.

11) Take each day as it comes and enjoy the moment


Best,

Christiana

xxx


P.S Would love to hear your resolutions. Not just relating to the opposite sex, but in general. Please do leave them in the comments section : )