Where are all the good women?

A while back I wrote a blog called ‘The Drought’ in which I attempted to debunk the myth that good men are in decline. I argued that they weren’t becoming extinct but certain factors were at work causing them to go undetected.

One of my main arguments was this….

There are 'too many' good women

People often say it’s the ‘hoes’ and women who lack scruple that make it hard for ‘good women’. I disagree. Good women (unintentionally) make it harder for good women. The quality and quantity of good women is so high, there isn't a real incentive for men to retire from bachelorhood. On the other hand if the general perception was good women were becoming extinct, I think the 'good men' would be more inclined to put themselves out there.

Sidebar: You can read the post in its entirety here.

I thought it was a commonly accepted fact that on a purely numerical basis the number of good women will always outstrip the number of good women. Biology has destined it that there are more women than men in the world, therefore all things being equal…

Number of Good Women > Number of Good Men

Sidebar: I’m not a fan of the phrase all things being equal because things are never equal, so I do apologise for using it to prop up limp ‘mathematical’ logic. Please don’t blame me for my shoddy use of mathematics; I am a product of the New Labour educational system, which valued academic attainment over actual learning. Blame Blair and his cronies : )


Yet to my surprise that point was the only one that stirred a considerable reaction. In the blog’s comments section, on Facebook and Twitter, I encountered men vehemently disagreeing with the observation that good women were in abundance.

Initially I dismissed such men as anomalies. However a recent debate with some good friends of mine made it apparent they’re not alone. My friends argued that beautiful women are in abundance, but ‘good women’ are few and far between. As the argument raged on, I was forced to concede that they might have a point.

At the end of our lengthy debate I still held there are ‘too many good women’ and my dear friends claimed I was ‘delusional’. As we couldn’t decide amongst ourselves, I was challenged to write a blog outlining my case and then leave it to you guys to decide. Here it goes…

There are many good women, it’s just that…

1)You’re looking in the wrong places

You’re unlikely to find gourmet food rifling in a dustbin. However that's what many men (and women) do when looking for the 'Mr/Miss Right'. If you want a certain standard of women, you must place yourself in the environments where she's normally found. Complaining there aren’t enough good women (or men) says more about what you choose to expose yourself to, than the actual state of affairs.

2) You've made them friends or they've friend zoned you

See point 1 in ‘The Drought’ for further explanation.

3)You’ve probably already had 1,2,3 or even 8 amazing women but you let her get away

Go on admit it. Just like every woman has that one guy who she remembers with a twinge of regret because she dismissed him for being ‘too nice’, you’ve let an amazing woman get away. It’s an uncomfortable truth that both genders grapple with. We’re self-sabotagers who often let the people who are good for us go, yet allow those who are toxic to stick around.

4) No woman will ever be as great as your mum

Is there a need to expand further?

5) You’re looking for a good woman who doesn’t require much work

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worth it"

Good women involve more work. Get over it! If you’re looking for a good woman, that requires the same level of effort and engagement as an average woman, just like a unicorn that can dutty whine….you won’t find her.

Great things are never easy to acquire and maintain and if you get it and maintain it easily, you’ve probably over-estimated its worth. If you want a woman who doesn’t involve hard work, lower your expectations. Good women will always come with high demands because demanding more of herself and others is one of the underlying reasons behind her substance! Furthermore her demanding more of you is beneficial, because those who expects more from us bring out the best in us.

Sidebar: High requirements are fine, ridiculous requirements are not.

Would it be beneficial for Oxford or Harvard to lower their academic entry requirements? Of course it wouldn’t, because that would dilute what they stand for and tarnish their reputation. In that sense good women are like elite universities, closed to most yet open to a select few. And it seems to me that when people complain there aren’t enough good women, what they really mean is there aren’t enough good women willing to put up with less.

That’s my opinion and I’m sticking to it : )

As the point of this blog was to state my case and then get input from you all, are my arguments compelling enough for the naysayers among you to agree that good women are in abundance? Or am I simply blind to the reality that.....

The number of Kat Stacks’ > The number of Michelle Obama’s?

The floor is yours!

Love & Light

Christiana xxx