How To Stay Positive

"How do you stay positive, and live your life when everyone around you and you yourself r negative??? Would love you to do a blog on this or personal tips thank you xx"
Candice

We are born into a world defined by duality. Good vs. evil, fire vs. water, fear vs. faith, light vs. dark. We didn't choose to be surrounded by these contrary elements. We didn't choose to come here and most of us will not choose when we leave. However in the space between our arrival and departure, we can choose which side to sit on. We can allow ourselves to drown in the darkness of negativity or we can make a daily commitment that positive energy will outweigh the negative.

It's easy to maintain the commitment to remain positive when life is going swimmingly and things effortlessly fall into place. However how do we remain positive when things fall apart? What do we do on those days when we’re frustrated by our perceived lack of progress and crippled by feelings of inadequacy? Is it possible to stay positive when our issues intimidate us, we’ve maxed out our overdraft and everyone from our weaveologist to foxes seem to be conspiring against us? Of course of it is. In fact it is imperative that we remain positive on such days because that is when it really counts.

So how the heck do we stay positive on the bad days? Since the question was directed at me, I’ll state what I do and the tips I’ve stolen from those I admire….

Note: This list isn't exhaustive please feel free to leave your tips in the comments section.

‘How to Stay Positive’

1) Strive to maintain an attitude of gratitude

Whatever the day brings, I try to end it with a spirit of gratitude. Even if everything went atrociously I whisper a word of thanks for the privilege of ending it alive.

Sidebar: I recently stumbled on a site called 'Gratitude Log' where you're challenged to daily write down what you're grateful for. I've found it to be a great tool for fostering a lifestyle of gratitude.

2) Ignore the minor issues

When we examine the bigger picture the things we allow to weigh us down are often inconsequential. It shouldn’t take being confronted by grave issues such as illness, unemployment or death, for us to gain perspective. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, get over it, some people have real problems.

3) Remember Everything is Temporary

Whatever the problem, it will pass.

4) Think Good Thoughts

Our thoughts of today often determine our tomorrow. So if our thoughts are contaminated, tomorrow's going to be contaminated. If that’s not an incentive to think good thoughts, I’m not sure what is.

5) Have Fun

It's obvious isn’t it? However in this world of 5-year plans, self-help books and the obsessive pursuit of success, it’s as if we’ve forgotten it’s ok relax and have fun. Have a lazy day or two. Eat that extra cupcake. Fart and blame it on someone else.... : )

6) Surround yourself with positive people

7) Exercise and Eat healthily

8) Listen to positive music

I know I risk losing my musical integrity by revealing this fact but despite it's cheesiness, Destiny Child’s ‘Happy Face' always puts a smile on my face! On the opposite end of the musical spectrum my current positives vibes tune is Labrinth's 'Let the Sun Shine' . Amazing.

9) Don’t (always) fight sadness

I'm aware that feeling sadness is diametrically opposed to a life filled with happiness. However happiness isn’t the only legitimate emotion. It's amazing how many of us feel guilty for feeling sadness. Sadness has its place. If you have something to be sad about, be sad. Don’t force yourself to be positive for the sake of it, that's disingenuous. There are seasons for everything. Live your season of sadness but do not allow yourself to wallow in it.

10) Keep Going

This point is summed up best by Graeme Fife.

‘The greatest battle is not physical but psychological. The demons telling us to give up when we push ourselves to the limit can never be silenced for good. They must always be answered by the quiet, the steady dignity that simply refuses to give in. Courage. We all suffer. Keep Going"

I can’t finish this post without addressing the second part of the question…

“How do you stay positive…. when everyone around you and you yourself are negative???’

Is it possible that everyone around us can be negative? Yes, but it’s highly unlikely. So what's really going on here? As I turned the second part of the question over in my head, I concluded there are two probable options.

Like wolves, negative people tend to move in packs. For example, the type of girl who gives an attractive girl a dirty look and makes a bitchy comment about her attire even though she looks flawless, tends to hang around with women who exhibit similar behavior. The people who we spend most of our time with speak volumes about our character. We cannot ignore the possibility that we’re as much a part of the problem as the ‘negative people’ we point a finger at. The question we must honestly ask ourselves is, are the people in my life negative because I am negative?

The second option is that you’re not negative and neither is ‘everyone' around you. Some people around you are negative, but it feels like everyone because those people have a prominent position in your life. It could also be an environment that dominates your life e.g. work, home, place of worship etc has a negative vibe.

Due to my ruthless attitude towards negativity and negative people, if I’d written this a year ago, I'd probably recommend you cut the negative people off or remove yourself from negative environments (See ‘The Friendship Detox’’). However this is a drastic approach to resolving matters. A more reasonable solution is to take the negative people aside and tactfully explain how their behaviour is hampering your life. Negative individuals are like people with bad breath, they're oblivious to their condition, but we’re all made to suffer. If after a discussion they persist with their behaviour, then I think that’s grounds for creating distance.

Finally, if you're trying to stay positive it’s important to develop thick skin and stop caring about what others think. Too many people let others negatively impact them more than they should because they want to be liked. Become comfortable with being disliked. As long as you like you that should be enough.

If none of the above works pretend negative people (and idiots) are invisible. It never fails : )

Love & Light

xxx