In light of the fact recent events have convinced me I understand men less than I thought, I decided to write part two of this rant in conjunction with a good friend of mine, who shall be called MC Nameless.
I decided to make Nameless an official Christiana Rants contributor, when he said to me…
“Christiana why the f&*( do you keep asking your female friends advice on men when most of them aren’t in decent relationships? I told you stop following their advice, it’s all based on R&B music anyway”
In that moment, I realised I had to get him on board.
There is a huge possibility that Nameless is the worst type of man possible and his opinions aren’t an accurate reflection of the behaviour/thought process of the wider male population. However as much as it pains me, my hunch is that Nameless is completely right.
'Men focus purely on their intended outcome’
Now anyone that’s worked or been in an educational institution will have had to undertake some type of project. As we’re all aware projects vary in depth, length, nature and intensity. But the connecting feature of all projects is that they all have an aim/outcome that is determined before the project starts. And that’s how men view women.
Because when a man meets a woman she becomes (to put it crudely) a project.
Between the ages of 17-29 (29 is arbitrary cut off point that we decided your average man may be more willing to settle down), most men’s desired outcome is sex. Nothing more, nothing less. The late night phone calls, dates, emails, facebook messages, BlackBerry messenger conversations are all in aid of this cause. All the effort made trying to get to know a woman (which is a euphemism for trying to have sex) are just different innovations used to get a woman in bed.
Then some men (men that aren’t like Nameless/Henpecked and over 29) see a girl and decide their desired outcome is to make that woman his wifey.
Therfore as a general rule there are two outcomes that dictate every single thing a man does…
1) Make her a jump off (short-term outcome)
2) Make her a wifey (long-term outcome).
That’s it. It’s probably the simplest thing to understand about men. They view women through one of two lenses, short run or long run.
The outcome isn’t necessarily fixed because according to Nameless
‘If a girl’s game is tight she can get a man to switch up the whole agenda. Like there was this one girl who I thought was straight jump off material. But then we had a conversation and I was like wow you actually have brains. And for a moment I was actually considering making her a long-run project. But then I slept with her and then there was no point trying to get to know her at that point. But she came close to changing my preferred outcome. Not many women can do it, but girls with tight game are the masters. Thing is not that many girls have tight game ’
* Blank Face *
Furthermore contrary to popular opinion, men can multi-task. Exceptionally well. As MC Nameless claims
‘Your average single man will be juggling multiple projects at the same time’
‘You mean he’s trying to tap multiple women and he’s pursuing me and loads of other chicks simultaneously?”
Me (appalled at this point)
‘That’s why you’re a woman, you just don’t get it. We’re not being mean it’s just pursuing multiple projects simultaneously is relationship insurance’.
After receiving the news that to most men I’m nothing more than a project, Nameless and I had a debate over what was the most important tool men use to get their desired outcome.
MC Nameless’ view
Nameless seems to think the more money a man has, the easier/quicker it is to get his desired outcome. Money makes the road to the outcome that bit smoother because…
" Women love money. And the only thing they love more than money, is a man with money willing to spend it on them"
Consequently Nameless believes that if you stripped Jay Z of money, you'd instantly strip him of Beyonce. Apparently in real life men that look like Jay Z, don't get women like Beyonce *
* I disagree. Men that aren’t deemed attractive are aware of the fact that the pool of women available to them is smaller than say him or him. Therefore from an early age they learn to work that bit harder. This means they're normally funny, witty or have a personality trait that’s so brilliant it acts as an invisibility cloak for their worst physical feature. So in real life the beast often bags a beauty.
As young girls most women are programmed into mastering the art of not giving other girls compliments, even though they deserve it. I don’t get it, but girls grow up believing complimenting another girl is an expression of weakness. So they often mask their insecurity by saying something bitchy when they really want to give a compliment. Moreover many women refuse to compliment their men because in their heads that would be giving them way too much power.
Basically women don’t know how to compliment.
Whereas men are experts at giving compliments. And do you know why?
Because they know how far flattery can go!
Men have mastered the art of saying all the right compliments, at all the right times, so when a woman’s contemplating leaving them she thinks ……
"Well he isn't that good looking, doesn't want to commit, rarely takes me out, didn't get me a gift for my birthday, cheats and isn't bringing anything spectacular to the table. BUT he tells me I'm beautiful all the time"
And flattery makes her stay.
Peace, Love and Musiq