Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Monogamy vs Polygamy





At the moment, I’m on a self- imposed driving strike. I tell people it’s because I’m trying to help the environment by reducing my carbon stiletto print, but the truth is I can’t be bothered to drive.

I’ve been driving since I was 17, now I’m 22. That’s five years of repressed road rage. In that time I’ve managed to run my car into a bus (long story), scratch both cars I’ve owned on multiple occasions and my parents have threatened to ‘seize’ my car keys because of ‘parking so appalling, it’s offensive and an embarrassment to the family’. At present, my diva level is Grade A. I’m insisting on being driven.

The other night one of my boys came by to pick me up. We were going to a party…

Sidebar: What occurred at that party deserves a blog entry of its own. Famous rappers + Female & Male Groupies = Acts of desperation Katie Price couldn’t match.

I get in the car and we start driving towards our destination. Just when it seemed like we were all going to be in a car together without a debate kicking off, someone made a statement.

Mind you the person who made the comment takes pleasure in being a ‘charming antagonist’. Yesterday I received a text from him that read…


‘Christiana if you don’t blog on the Tiger Woods incident you’re proving my suspicions of being a down low misandrist. No one deserves to be beaten. Especially with a golf club they bought. Send the right message, speak out against domestic violence’

Anyhow! There are numerous issues I have made a conscious decision not to debate about. For example iDont discuss…. The Israeli/Palestinian conflict. Anything relating to theology/religion. 9/11 conspiracy theories/Conspiracy theories in general. Abortion. Most discussions about race/racism or whether Tupuc’s alive. The rationale behind my disengagement is simple. Such debates tend to generate more heat than light.

The statement was (my Blackberry Curvella is a huge distraction, so there is a possibility like most Government statements, this contains an inaccuracy)


‘Women would be much happier if they accepted that monogamous relationships are abnormal. Polygamy being reinstated as a Western norm would get rid of a lot of social issues. It would probably save the institution of marriage’
Now personally the polygamy vs. monogamy debate is pretty much cut and dry for me. First and foremost my Great-grandfathers on both sides were polygamists. I can’t remember how many wives they each had (over 10), but the stories and effects alone have shown me that it’s not a model that’s conducive to happiness. Furthermore I don’t even like to share my clothes or personal space, so why on earth would I share a man?

So I stayed silent. Minding my own business, PING!!!ing things I really shouldn’t….
Sidebar: Is it me or does BlackBerry messenger make you type things that you’d normally only type if inebriated?

Apparently my friend that made the original statement presented a pretty flawless argument. I think it’s because he’s done extensive research so he can justify his cheating ways to his future offspring. I can’t remember all (any) of his points, I wasn’t paying that much attention. I did catch the words/phrases ‘community’ ‘natural’ ‘harmony’ ‘sexual freedom’ ‘a world free of Maury’.

However after hearing him say


‘Put it this way, it’s only looked down upon because of economic modernisation. Monogamy started being promoted, when economic development meant the upkeep of many wives became economically unfeasible. So they started to promote, monogamy as the superior marital arrangement. People now believe that polygamy is backwards because of mind control…. When really if you can afford many wives and mistresses and you love them all equally, what’s the problem? Western snobbery is what prevents people from seeing polygamy as an ideal….’

Blah blah blah….

I knew my friend would never be persuaded by my belief that: I think it’s the most beautiful thing in the world, when someone chooses to commit themselves solely to one person because they believe the person is so special, they’re worth the sacrifice.

So I said…
‘Cool, I get your points. I’m presuming you’d be fine with being one of four husbands then? As long as your wife loved all four of you equally and could afford to keep you all?’

To which he said…

Well nothing.

And everyone laughed at the bewildered look on his face.

The whole ‘monogamy vs. polygamy’ debate is viewed through such a narrow prism, the idea that a woman would want many husbands isn’t even discussed. Now I’m no feminist, but I find it quite amusing (and evidence of rampant patriarchy) that people who claim that ‘monogamy is impractical’, tend to believe it’s impractical for men, not women.

Since he couldn’t address my point, we thought we’d put it all to you. I know where I stand on this…..

Monogamy = Hard work, but desirable because the outcome = Stability + Commitment + (ideally) Happiness

Polygamy = A bit strange

But hey, that’s just my opinion.

What say you?

Peace, Love and 300

xxx
.

9 comments:

  1. 'Anyhow! There are numerous issues I have made a conscious decision not to debate about. For example iDont discuss…. The Israeli/Palestinian conflict. Anything relating to theology/religion. 9/11 conspiracy theories/Conspiracy theories in general. Abortion. Most discussions about race/racism or whether Tupuc’s alive. The rationale behind my disengagement is simple. Such debates tend to generate more heat than light' -

    Round of applause for the young lady please!

    To each their own, all I know is I'm not sharing my husband with another woman, there's no debate needed. Family of course are excluded and female friends (who I'm aware of)..

    Cool blog Christiana

    Much love C

    (I was meant to have your name but my mum changed her mind last minute and removed the 'a' - random comment, I thought I'd share lol)

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  2. Great blog, you can shoot down any male argument on polygamy by the argument of sharing your wife with 5 other guys, that argument = Game.Set.Match to most arguments!

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  3. you know, i'd NEVER thought about a woman with many husbands.... as a fairly miliant woman, i feel silly!

    BUT after years and years of bitter hatred of men (cue abanonnment issues in terms of the Biological father) i still believe in marriage/monogmamy. Yes it's hard and things go wrong but guess what?

    Shit happens.

    and a very good friend of mine use a brilliant analogy which helped to convert me: a relationship is like a plant, it needs water, sunlight and good soil, if any of these elements are missing, it dies. I may get married and divorced in a week or stay with The One until a ripe old age, or even start a pathetic University Campus Relationship DOOMED to failure, but monogamy is the way forward!

    There's my bit said :)

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  4. Yeah so polgygamy...no.no.never.

    One person marriage all the way.

    That's all I have to say babes.

    Another great blog

    - xoxo

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  5. it's just gonna be me and my partner thank you.
    No more, no less.

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  6. I guess that's what is called a 'flawless victory'. Good on you for consigning that nonsense your friend was promoting to the bin swiftly! Epic fail for him.

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  7. @ Henry agree totally. Funny how men will talk about polygamy as the way forward but would never ever contemplate being one of many husbands themselves!
    They want to be the centre of a woman's universe but never want to put her at the centre of theirs...selfish b***ards!

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  8. I just wanted to say:Polygamy was purpoted by a male dominated society thats even more Patriachial than todays. The more wives you had meant the more status and power and wealth you had as a man, ergo why chiefs and leaders of communities tended to have the most wives because it was a status symbol. It was also higher in societies in which a war was present, so a lot of men would dash of into the desert to go fight a neigbouring tribe or whatever and never return, therby leaving many women left behind and a need for repopulation, so Polygamy made sense. So if anything, Polygamy is more of a backward thinking ideal as women back then would never even expect to be treated an iorta like women in at least half decent marriages are treated today..they were a commodity....
    just saying...

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