Daughter. Sister. Friend. Believer. Warrior. Writer. Voracious reader. Shoe Lover. Car Accident Survivor. Quasi philosopher. Prone to circumlocution. Beyonce stan. Retired cynic. On a quest to make a dent in the universe. Impossible to summarise in a few words.
At the moment, I’m on a self- imposed driving strike. I tell people it’s because I’m trying to help the environment by reducing my carbon stiletto print, but the truth is I can’t be bothered to drive.
I’ve been driving since I was 17, now I’m 22. That’s five years of repressed road rage. In that time I’ve managed to run my car into a bus (long story), scratch both cars I’ve owned on multiple occasions and my parents have threatened to ‘seize’ my car keys because of ‘parking so appalling, it’s offensive and an embarrassment to the family’. At present, my diva level is Grade A. I’m insisting on being driven.
The other night one of my boys came by to pick me up. We were going to a party…
Sidebar: What occurred at that party deserves a blog entry of its own. Famous rappers + Female & Male Groupies = Acts of desperation Katie Price couldn’t match.
I get in the car and we start driving towards our destination. Just when it seemed like we were all going to be in a car together without a debate kicking off, someone made a statement.
Mind you the person who made the comment takes pleasure in being a ‘charming antagonist’. Yesterday I received a text from him that read…
‘Christiana if you don’t blog on the Tiger Woods incident you’re proving my suspicions of being a down low misandrist. No one deserves to be beaten. Especially with a golf club they bought. Send the right message, speak out against domestic violence’
Anyhow! There are numerous issues I have made a conscious decision not to debate about. For example iDont discuss…. The Israeli/Palestinian conflict. Anything relating to theology/religion. 9/11 conspiracy theories/Conspiracy theories in general. Abortion. Most discussions about race/racism or whether Tupuc’s alive. The rationale behind my disengagement is simple. Such debates tend to generate more heat than light.
The statement was (my Blackberry Curvella is a huge distraction, so there is a possibility like most Government statements, this contains an inaccuracy)
‘Women would be much happier if they accepted that monogamous relationships are abnormal. Polygamy being reinstated as a Western norm would get rid of a lot of social issues. It would probably save the institution of marriage’ Now personally the polygamy vs. monogamy debate is pretty much cut and dry for me. First and foremost my Great-grandfathers on both sides were polygamists. I can’t remember how many wives they each had (over 10), but the stories and effects alone have shown me that it’s not a model that’s conducive to happiness. Furthermore I don’t even like to share my clothes or personal space, so why on earth would I share a man?
So I stayed silent. Minding my own business, PING!!!ing things I really shouldn’t…. Sidebar: Is it me or does BlackBerry messenger make you type things that you’d normally only type if inebriated?
Apparently my friend that made the original statement presented a pretty flawless argument. I think it’s because he’s done extensive research so he can justify his cheating ways to his future offspring. I can’t remember all (any) of his points, I wasn’t paying that much attention. I did catch the words/phrases ‘community’ ‘natural’ ‘harmony’ ‘sexual freedom’ ‘a world free of Maury’.
However after hearing him say
‘Put it this way, it’s only looked down upon because of economic modernisation. Monogamy started being promoted, when economic development meant the upkeep of many wives became economically unfeasible. So they started to promote, monogamy as the superior marital arrangement. People now believe that polygamy is backwards because of mind control…. When really if you can afford many wives and mistresses and you love them all equally, what’s the problem? Western snobbery is what prevents people from seeing polygamy as an ideal….’
Blah blah blah….
I knew my friend would never be persuaded by my belief that: I think it’s the most beautiful thing in the world, when someone chooses to commit themselves solely to one person because they believe the person is so special, they’re worth the sacrifice.
So I said… ‘Cool, I get your points. I’m presuming you’d be fine with being one of four husbands then? As long as your wife loved all four of you equally and could afford to keep you all?’
To which he said…
And everyone laughed at the bewildered look on his face.
The whole ‘monogamy vs. polygamy’ debate is viewed through such a narrow prism, the idea that a woman would want many husbands isn’t even discussed. Now I’m no feminist, but I find it quite amusing (and evidence of rampant patriarchy) that people who claim that ‘monogamy is impractical’, tend to believe it’s impractical for men, not women.
Since he couldn’t address my point, we thought we’d put it all to you. I know where I stand on this…..
Monogamy = Hard work, but desirable because the outcome = Stability + Commitment + (ideally) Happiness