A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog entry called ‘Closing The Gap’. Read here.
Whilst reading the comments, one left by ggpoos aka Gracie, stuck out.
‘Okay, so I like steps in which to keep OUT of category C but any tips for those in Category c?? They're trying, but it just aint working....’
The moment I read Gracie’s comment, it got me thinking. What about category c?
A few days later a conversation with my mum (LOVE YOU DUCCHESS!) made me realise I had to write today’s post.
Our convo went a bit like this….
‘So in that blog post you wrote nothing to encourage people that are underachieving?’
‘Yeah cos there’s no point really, they’re going to stay how they are’
‘Who told you there’s no point? Who are you to believe that their destiny is hopeless? Even your friend’s crackhead uncle, who is to say his life can’t be changed? Didn’t we raise you to never give up on anyone? ’
At the time, I debated with my mum and defended my post. However much later (following an internal dialogue) I realised that my elitism had hindered me from writing a post that could potentially help those ‘category c’. More importantly, I remembered that on some level, we are all underachievers. The only thing that varies is the intensity of our underachievement.
So here it is, my tips for those in category c. When formulating these points, I found them personally useful because I’m (finally) taking steps to deal with my reckless spending. Maybe in 2010, I’ll finally be able to actually open my bank statements…… : )
Escaping Category C
1) Using ‘issues’ as a justification for under- achieving, has an expiration date. No one cares. There are thousands of people who have been through, ten times worse but dug deep and made something of themselves. Whatever ‘it’ is. Get over it. You must not be a slave to your past.
2) Learn to conquer yourself.
3)If you’re an uber wasteman/wastewoman very few people believe you will change. Ergo you must choose to believe in what no one else can see. Then make it a reality.
Things change when you care enough to grab whatever you love and give it everything.
4) We attract and are surrounded by people who are similar to us. If you’re waste, you’re friends are probably/most likely/definitely waste. You’re only as great as the resources you draw from: So Change your friends.
5) We often underachieve or fail, because we focus on our fears/past failures and attribute to them more power than they deserve. Fear is paralysing and if ruled by it, we will become stuck in state of inertia. Treat fear like the enemy.
6) It’s unlikely many have expectations of you. Set expectations for yourself.
If you don't know where you're going, you'll end up somewhere else."
7) Relationships are the infrastructure of our lives, without them we are nothing. You’ve probably exploded more bridges than Al-Qaeda, so make an effort to repair and cultivate the relationships you’ve neglected.
I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
8) The word worry finds its root in the Middle English word “wyrgan”, which means to strangle. And that’s worries do, strangle us until we’re immobile. Try not to worry. It’s a wasteoftime.org.
9) Your many imperfections (and the awareness you possess them) is your secret weapon. There are so many successful people with limited self-awareness and an ability to acknowledge their shortcomings. You’re already a step ahead of them.
Lincoln: 'I've long since come to realise that a man with few vices has few virtues.
9) It sounds counter-intuitive but sometimes the ‘vision’ or our desired result can serve as distraction and hamper our drive if we feel we’re too far away. When you focus on the beauty the process, rather than the grandness of the vision, the results will come easier.
10) Never aim for a monetary figure. There are tons of underachieving rich folk. A big bank account means you’ll probably leave a huge inheritance. You’re trying to leave a legacy.
11) Every day look in the mirror and choose to see the person you will be and are becoming. It’s corny, in the way all those movies that push ‘clean’ American values are, but it’s a brilliant impulse for action.
Inside every block of stone or marble dwells a beautiful statue: one need only remove the excess material to reveal the work of art within
12) Never forget. Although you have much to prove, you have even more to give.
"Come to the edge," He said. They said, "We are afraid." "Come to the edge," He said. They came. He pushed them...and they flew.
13) Life is the accumulation of small decisions. One small, but powerful decision is to vow to love your weeds as much as your unblossomed roses.
14) Refuse to accept inconsequentiality and when you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on (Franklin D. Roosevelt)
15) Finally, always remember: ‘The secret of success is you simply outlast your critics’
Peace, Love and Process