Friday, 2 October 2009

Blame it on British Telecom

I hate excuses. They're simply tools of the incompetent to build monuments of nothingness.

However, the blog entry I intended to upload today can't be....and I'm livid.

I woke up this morning, in order to upload the piece I had written and BT Broadband decided to act like one of those absentee fathers on Maury Povich. It just refused to work.

I tried to play IT Tech support and fix the internet myself.

Epic Fail.

I despise calling customer service departments. I'm convinced all the corporations have had a secret meeting where they colluded and decided to instruct their support departments to frustrate the consumer to the point they contemplate punching a wall.

But I had to call someone......

So I did.....

And it was a

I was on the phone for over 45 minutes only to be told that I won't have internet access for 48 Hours.

So I'm slightly irate to put it best. It's not just the fact that I'm going to be cut off from e-humanity for two days.

It's also the fact that.....

1) For a chunk of the 45 mins I "spoke" to an automated voice that kept asking me stupid questions that required me to press a number, to take another inconsequential step
towards speaking to someone who had failed to take the class "People Skills 101"

2) I had to unscrew that white box that you plug your phone line into in order for them to do a test that we failed because I still don't have the internet.

3) When I finally did get through to someone I don't believe they had a firm enough grasp of the English language to give me a decent service. I don't ask for great because that would be too much to ask. I ask for decent and I didn't get that.

I don't really care about companies offshoring their labour, since I don't intend to do the kind of job that can be offshored (individualistic, I know but today the socialist in me is too annoyed to rear her head). But if you're going to offshore labour make sure your relentless pursuit of economic profit does not erode your levels of efficiency and the relationship your brand has with its customer.

4) They had the audacity to ask me if I wanted an email sent "outlining the steps we'd just taken in case the problem happens again". I responded that would be nonsensical and waste of my time because the steps didn't work. Why would I re-do a process that failed? To amuse myself?

Upon hearing that my mum (who was sitting next to me) shook and her head in a kind of "my daughter is bonkers Jesus please save her" way that she often does. The man on the other end sounded like he was contemplating hexing me.

Now I feel like bringing arms house to BT's Mums house.

* exhales *

So that's it, I can't upload my rant but hopefully I'll get the internet fixed in the next couple of days. I'm here furiously typing on my BlackBerry, watching "The Hills" which is oddly quite calming. These girls are funny.

Sidebar: What on earth does Heidi see in Spencer?

Ok! On a more positive note. Tomorrow is Saturday. And Saturday's are always great just because they're not Monday's.

Have a fabulous weekend.

Fingers crossed, I'll be back on Monday.

Peace, Love and Tweets


  1. If they sent you an email on how the processes didn't work how would you even be able to read it with no internet? You may have a BB but they don't know that so it seems like a giant piss take to me.

    The only thing worse than BT customer service is the Xbox one... How do you spend an HOUR explaining the same problem (and the damn machine broke 4 times prior to that so that's FIVE hours of my life wasted) to some random foreigner who is probably chained to a radiator and has difficulty reading his own name tag only to passed on to a "supervisor" who's even less capable?

    Ah well, the money I got from putting it on eBay made up for everything *strokes PS3*

  2. get o2 internet. its better and cheaper

  3. re: sidebar.....i think aLOT of people have tried to figure out how/why Speidi exist n we still can't come up with an answer...baffling isn't it??

  4. Rampz...I feel your pain. I think all large companies use their size to their advantage and become careless with their consumer. The carelessness starts with customer service.

    Anon 03.36, Thanks for the heads up. I'll tell my dad he has an (ongoing) legal situation with Tiscali (I kid you not) and we've beefed with most (if not all) ISP's I'll tell him about O2....that's if they haven't got a history.

    Anon 00.55 I think I'm going to write a rant about Speidi because such couples exist in real life!


  5. HSBC has had a similar effect on me..I almost smashed the work phone to bits after speaking to a malfunctioning robot!